MIA/POW

I thought of something just now only because I seen the episode of Smallville where Lana finds out through Whitney's mother that he is MIA. If my husband went MIA/POW what things would have to be done? How long am I allowed to stay on base housing as well as how long do my benefits as a Military spouse last? Am I suppose to plan for a funeral with no body or do I hope, pray, and wait for the rest of my life? I guess this is a discussion I should probably have with Will all though him being on a sub I don't think I would even get a body let alone should I worry about him being taken prisoner but I think in a way I should at least be prepared.

Hes always right!

He knows who he is!

He could talk me out of winning a Million Dollars if he had to.

Time to Go....

So my sister asked me earlier if she could use the computer to check her farm. I told her no because I wanted to watch this tv show with her. You know actually spend time with her not doing things but just hanging out together watching tv, something I think sisters would do together. She got all pouty and decided to sit there anyways now shes being all emo and listening to her music in her room with the door locked. If shes going to act this way because of something I wont let her do because I'm sure she thinks it's unfair because I'm on the computer and shes not it may be time for her to go home. I've been trying to reach grandma for her opinion but I think she may be napping because shes not picking up her cell or house phone. A big worry as well is if I do try taking her home would she throw a big fit and not want to get in the car?

The whole time my sister has been here we have done only a handful of things together not nearly everything that I wanted to do with her. Not really either one of our faults I blame it on my mother for not caring and only being able to send us a little money. I really dont remember acting this way when I was told no maybe things change with each generation I'm not sure but almost feels like it's too much for me to handle alone. Shes been a good kid almost sometimes listening to everything I say but there is times where she erks me off because she doesn't understand what I mean and I know that is not her fault.

I'll try a few more times calling grandma but I dont think I'll be getting through any time in the next hour.

Update

I just wanted to update things here. I decided not to make my journal private in hopes that comments left from visitors will encourage changes that I need to make in my life.

Support?

How do I make myself more motivational? Is it my shyness that is holding me back or my laziness? I know things have to be done and I'm the only one that can do it while Will is away but when I go to take that step toward accomplishing simple things there is something that stops me. Like I know things would be easier if I had a job and I have tried but I've not tried hard enough. Will has told me he'd rather not have me work once but I do think there are times where he wants me out of the house and not sitting here all day doing nothing.

So what is it that I can do? Will would probably just tell me to suck it up and go out there but I really think it's harder then that. It might be something that I'll never get over which I hope is not the case I do feel from my high school days that I have gotten over it somewhat but the problem is still there.

With my first post out of the way earlier this morning there was a weight lifted from my chest I really felt re leaved that I got to put some things down. I think it's the fact that Will is not around for me to 'vent' to so I feel no one is around to listen to what I have to say. I am glad that I decided to start this blog and I do think with Will gone there will be many posts ahead of this one. However the time when we will be together again maybe another story since I will have an ear around to listen to me. With all that said I'm pretty sure I'll let Will know about this blog just so he can have something to read during his spare time if he cares to.

And that is really all I have to say for now.

The First

Well, I'm not going to introduce myself because if everything is set up right I should be the only one to see. If I didn't set this blog up right then oh well my whole complaining is open to the world and who cares? You only live once and so what if everyone can read my opinions or life I really don't care any more. I will speak my mind on things that are bothering me openly to the people that care to listen.

Now then as far as this post goes I'm not even sure on what there is to say I just wanted to make a blog to really have someone to talk to. The only someone I'll be talking to though is myself and I think I'm a really good listener my advice just sucks. Now that Will is not around for me to jabber on to and I know he doesn't really listen all I have now is this blog. So like every ones hopes mine is to blog everyday but I will at least try to blog every month if not two weeks.

As far as telling close friends or even Will about my blog I'm not sure I'm going to do yet. I'd like to have something just for me but at the same time I do know I like to share things, I'm not good at keeping my own secrets a secret.

So now as far as things going on goes I'll eventually get around to putting them down or at least say that I will. I have felt a lot better about things in my life but some things I still think will never happen which I am unhappy about. I always thought people always get everything they want in their life I know most of it comes with hard work and some times luck but the things I want will not come from either of those two attributes. Just maybe I was never meant to have what I want but only to dream about having? Yeah I know my mind doesn't think like others I could run myself around in circles all day long and still not answer any of my questions but just have more or even forget about the first ones.

Well I think sleep is starting to come for me but I don't think I'm even half way done with this post. Guess my next post will be as long as this one if I can remember everything I want to say.