Support?

How do I make myself more motivational? Is it my shyness that is holding me back or my laziness? I know things have to be done and I'm the only one that can do it while Will is away but when I go to take that step toward accomplishing simple things there is something that stops me. Like I know things would be easier if I had a job and I have tried but I've not tried hard enough. Will has told me he'd rather not have me work once but I do think there are times where he wants me out of the house and not sitting here all day doing nothing.

So what is it that I can do? Will would probably just tell me to suck it up and go out there but I really think it's harder then that. It might be something that I'll never get over which I hope is not the case I do feel from my high school days that I have gotten over it somewhat but the problem is still there.

With my first post out of the way earlier this morning there was a weight lifted from my chest I really felt re leaved that I got to put some things down. I think it's the fact that Will is not around for me to 'vent' to so I feel no one is around to listen to what I have to say. I am glad that I decided to start this blog and I do think with Will gone there will be many posts ahead of this one. However the time when we will be together again maybe another story since I will have an ear around to listen to me. With all that said I'm pretty sure I'll let Will know about this blog just so he can have something to read during his spare time if he cares to.

And that is really all I have to say for now.